Yesterday I did a very bad thing.
YES I ate peanut butter straight from the jar. YES I washed it down with milk right from the gallon. YES I secretly wished that Ryan Reynolds would have not married that slut Scarlett Johansson and instead married me.
YES to all of that.
But it gets worse.
I bought a ticket to Kona.
Hear me out, I am not an impulse shopper. Not even impulsive with anything. Sometimes I’m not even sure my nerves have impulses anymore. Do you ever spend so much time doing the same thing, at the same place day in and day out that you feel like you could just wake up, press your autopilot button and not even interrupt yourself all day?
I need a change.
Not only that but it’s getting cold here. I think last week it was in the high 60s and now mornings are in the low 40s. Today it poured rain. The house sat at 66 degrees. I had to wear layers. I took out tights for a morning run. I realized that life in the sun was over – for nearly the next 9 months.
I’ve got to get out of this place.
I thought about Hawaii. And told Chris I was itchy. He told me I needed to go, and that I should go – as long as I bring him back “shitloads” of coffee.
You’ve been cooped up inside this house all year, you need to get out.
But really I think he’s just looking for a reason to walk around the house in his underwear all week playing video games and eating potato chips.
I hemmed. I hawed. I pricelined, orbitzed, kayaked and lastminuteticketed. I even put out a cry of help on Facebook.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t buy a ticket to Kona.
Aside from someone mentioning that my sock drawer need to be reorganized and Wes mentioning that he wouldn’t fit inside my suitcase, I got about 40 affirmatives that the time was now. Go. Be free in Hawaii.
I sat, I stewed, considered, pricelined and thought about it again. Until finally I thought about Ashley Long. And the time when she, Marit and Mary were at Gulf Coast. And the waves were roaring in the ocean. When she finally just said F*CK IT and ran in to swim.
I said f*ck it, or actually book it and the next thing I knew I had a ticket.
I made a crazy maniacal laughter sound – from my kitchen chair of course – and the countdown began.
Four days until I’m in Hawaii.
Sure it’s a lot of money. Sure it’s a lot of travel. But here’s the deal. You never look back on life and say to yourself, gee I wish I had spent more time in the office working. Or, gee I wish I hadn’t booked that trip to Hawaii. Or, gee I wish I just saved that money instead. You go through life once. And when you look back on it all you have is experience. Saved money and stored days off don’t count for much.
Unless you spent them.
I just want to swim in the ocean and feel the sun. I want to walk up and down Alii Drive with nothing to do and nowhere to go. And I want to hear that sound of those birds – I think they are doves – that you hear every morning. Does that make me the crazy bird lady? I don’t know. I don’t care. I’m going to Hawaii, bitches.
It’s going to take me about a day to get there and about a day to get home – but so what. I’ll bring my magazines. I’ll bring my compression socks. I’ll bring an Ambien. And I will make it through over 18 hours of air travel.
When I told Tina I would be going she said: it’s about time you got off the pot!
For the record: I may inhaled. And I may have liked it.
I want to eat papaya and drink coffee. Lava Java anyone? Medium dark roast with an ocean view? Heck, I want to drink so much coffee that I might just render myself infertile by the time I leave the island. I’m going to watch the sunset and I’m going to sit by the ocean and possibly spend an hour – maybe two – maybe more – just listening.
It gets better.
I’m going to stay with Marit.
Which means that sometimes I will be sitting by the ocean listening to…Marit. But that is ok. She’s probably the one friend in the world that I can spend time with where awkward silence never exists. But neither does small talk. Everything Marit talks about is big and she talks about it with such a big passion that I just want to listen. Even if it’s about marine life or sharks or something like that.
I just realized I’m going to the ocean with Marit. Do you know what that means? I’m going to get schooled in marine life.
I need to pack. What should I bring? It’s a whole different trip when you’re not planning on racing or even training. And I’m not training. I just swim and I run. Sometimes I run hard. Sometimes I swim hard. Like the other day I was doing 2x (3 x 100 hard with 10 seconds rest, 300 pull, 300 as 100 max, 100 easy, 100 max) with Chris when I said to myself this is not something I need to be doing and as the set wore on said to myself again I don’t need to do anything with the word “max”. So I didn’t. I put on fins instead! Not training cancels out about half of what I would normally bring. I would look to Bree’s blog for how to pack for island life but every time I see a picture of the girl she’s wearing a bikini….so….uh……I guess that about solves it. I’m bringing a pair of flip flops and a bikini. Call myself the Pasty Bikini Wahine.
Which reminds me I need to pack sunscreen: loads.
I have two athletes racing in Kona. I told them I would be there.
Here is what Kris said: Oh my god! I hope I don’t die! I would hate for you to witness that.
And here is what Joy said: You’re going to be chasing me up and down Alii aren’t you?
Absolutely, on both accounts.
I will be completely on foot. I thought about renting a car but then thought – where am I going to go? Really, there is nowhere I need to go. And that is the beauty of Kona. You just walk around. You go up the street, you go down the street. There is nowhere to drive or rush. I have my feet. I have my orthotics. I will get around.
If you are going to Kona, I want to see you there! I think…unless you are crazy. Then leave me the f*ck alone! But if you’re not, then please consider joining me for my daily agenda:
1 – Swim in ocean.
2 – Drink coffee.
3 – Listen to ocean.
4 – Eat fruit.
5 – Psychostalk tri hotties.
6 – ______________________
Do you see that blank line? That line is what I am looking forward to. It signifies nothing. Or something. Or whatever. Whatever I want that is. Maybe take some pictures. Maybe go paddleboard. Maybe eat some macadamia nuts. Maybe not.
But I do know this. On Sunday, that blank line will be filled with eating sheet cake with Marit. She will have earned it and there is a Safeway in town. And it better be ready for two of the world’s finest cake in a plastic box connoisseurs.
Wait…hear that sound? That’s the sound of me smiling because I am going to Hawaii! See (some of) you there!