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Triathlete Blog

Crazy Eighties – Part Two

By March 19, 2007June 3rd, 2015No Comments

Back by popular demand, it’s another installation of the Crazy Eighties.

You know you’re a child of the eighties if…..

You dreamt about going to a school as cool as the one in Fame.

You wish you went to Sweet Valley High.

Bosom Buddies – three words what the f*ck?

You wore at least 20 bracelets up your arm.

Elizabeth was someone that Redd Foxx cried out for while clutching his chest.

You remember what Heather Locklear looked like when she had her real face.

You were devastated when you found out Milli Vanilli was a sham.

Jo from the Facts of Life was cool, Blair was a bitch, and Tootie – you just felt plain bad for a girl called Tootie.

You owned a pair of black sunglasses with a neon frame or, better yet, reflective lenses.

You remember traveling on an airplane when the back half was the smoking section.

Skeletor was the name of HeMan’s rival, not a nickname for one the Olson twins.

You remember life before DVD – even life before VHS, we’re talking Beta.

You remember when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were cool – the first time around.

You remember when Michael Jackson’s hair caught on fire.

You sported a feathered haircut. You sometimes pulled back that feathered haircut with a clip that had a feather, a leather string, and beads hanging from it.

Iraq was some small country in the middle east – Russia was the real enemy.

Your mom was dying to know who shot J.R.

Fill in the blank: You take the good, you take the bad, you take them all and there you have, _______________.

Thundercats, HOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have gone through more than one can of Aqua Net.

Classic 80’s PSA – egg in a frying pan; this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs, any questions.

You still can’t tell – Ronald Regan, was he the president or just an old guy that smiled a lot?

Your only knowledge of Cinncinnati was that it was a town with a radio station called WKRP.

You owned a banana clip.

You have seen one of the following movies more than 10 times; The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Sixteen Candles.

Hairy men were hot, ie., Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds.

You curled your hair after gym class with a Clicker.

Your friends were so jealous of your brother’s GI Joe Hovercraft.

You have gotten at least one perm.

Classic 80’s PSA –a bunch of blue pill puppets singing about the dangers of drugs; this is serious, we could make you delirious, you should ask your doctor or pharmacy, the types of pills that you will need.

You pondered the bigger questions in life, where’s the beef; still to this day you have no idea where the beef really is or ever was.

You had a picture of Kirk Cameron on your bedroom wall.

Long before Ironman, there was Jane Fonda and her collection of leotards, headbands, and workout tapes.

You remember the first time Fraser was on Cheers.

Three words that make me cooler than you – purple velcro Roo’s. I had them, you didn’t.

Payphones were on every corner, you could make a call for 10 cents.

Your mom had a baby on board sign stuck in her rear window, but you were 8 years old.

You remember life before nutrition labels. You also remember eating your first candy bar after they put on nutrition labels and thinking some things were better left unsaid.

Band-Aids weren’t for boo-boos, they were for world hunger instead.

You wore one half of a heart-shaped BFF necklace.

George Michael was someone in Wham, not someone most likely to be found touching himself in a public bathroom.

Watching Sean Astin sucking on his inhaler in The Goonies made you wish you had asthma.

You remember when computer screens were black with green lettering.

You always wanted to know what Willis was talking about.

You have read more than one book about Ramona.

You wore a polo shirt with the collar up.