I did a very bad thing.
I bought the Boss dog.
It was Saturday night and really all I went out for was a pair of pants. Walking through Old Navy, disgusted that everything in my size was built for someone 5 inches taller until finally I realized there would be no pants.
Fine.
If I can’t have pants, then I’m going to buy a dog. A bit of a discrepancy in price, but at this point if it fits – Boss is small, I am small – I’ll take it.
I walk down to the pet store which at this point is watching out for me because it is clear that I am stalking the Boss dog. I ask to see Boss and he is still there. For awhile we play together and I give Chris a call. I tell him that I am buying the Boss dog.
The clerk asks if I am sure and I say maybe. Apparently they need you to be sure – really sure. Ok, I am sure. And with that Boss is whisked away from a nail clipping and to get his walking papers. He returns a short while later with a little yellow bandana that says woof woof and he smells good.
At first Chris seems like a nervous wreck. It comes out in all the wrong ways. I made the wrong leash choice (too small!) and then chose the wrong toys (too big!) but finally when we get home he seems happy to have Boss in his lap.
The first night went well….for Boss. Not so much for me. I laid wide awake in bed until 2 am. I kept waiting to hear Boss. But he didn’t say boo. To fill the time I just kept thinking about what I had done. What have you done, you have traded your come as you please lifestyle for a little dog……
At some point I worried myself to sleep but woke up the next morning and looked at the Boss dog. He was so cute. And happy. And two days later I wouldn’t trade him for all the days away in the world.
He is terribly interested in what we are doing. He enjoys the sound of me typing but doesn’t like the vacuum cleaner. He likes to watch Chris and together they watch tv. He eats on the fly – one kibble at a time. When he is tired he wants to be held and whimpers if take too long. He likes to run but is so small he doesn’t get very far. Things he enjoys chasing include leaves, carpet, and his leash. And don’t forget his tail. Hours of entertainment right on his rear end. He has already taken a bath. He may have even sat in his own poo.
On Sunday Chris’ mom called. She wanted to take Boss on a shopping spree. Boss came back with a new leash, a sweater, treats, toys, and a pink Ralph Lauren mock polo shirt. Please no one tell her that Boss is a boy. And don’t tell him either or else he’ll never wear the pink shirt.
We took Boss to play with his brother and sister – Chewie and I Chi. Boss mounted Chewie and attacked his hair while I Chi just snarled. She’s put on the pounds lately and I think she yearns for her younger, svelte glory days. She is just jealous of Boss.
All three little dogs followed Chris’ mom around like she was the Pied Piper of small dogs. Like she sang only a song they could understand. Small dogs just crumble at her feet. But I think it has something to do with daily cleanings, post-bath towels warmed up in the shower, and cucumbers to fight constipation.
I have one rule about Boss – no people food. Because he is not a people! He is a dog. And kibble he will eat. He will also sleep in his crate. So far he likes it. He climbs in even when we are home. It is his safe place.
On Wednesday he goes to the vet. I’ve never had to call a doctor to make an appointment for my dog. Breed? Chihuahua. Sex? Male. Size? Uh, 3 lbs? On a fat day? Name? Boss Dog Waterstraat but you can call him Boss for short.
After the novelty of licking my laptop and trying to step on the keys wore off, Boss fell asleep. He sleeps next to me on the couch. It has been a long day and tomorrow there is much carpet to chase, more kibble to eat, and hours to be held.
You can call it puppy love but if you saw my dog, you’d love him too!
