Number of miles ridden while on course: 124
Number of mile ridden while off course: 18
Total miles ridden: 142
First time Liz almost cried: Mile 1 upon realizing battery in Power Tap hub had died.
Second time Liz almost cried: Mile 107 upon hearing that we still had 35 miles to go.
First time Chris asked if Liz cried yet: Mile 130
Something you don’t want to hear when you have just heard at mile 107 that you still have 35 miles to go: “I guess they lose their sense of humor at this point” from the guy filling the Gatorade jugs.
Pieces of pack meat we picked up: 3
Most animal-like effort at pulling the line: Chris holding us at 25 – 26 mph
Optimal number of men to draft off of at one time: 4
Combined body weight of those men: About 1000 lbs
Number of miles of loose gravel: 5
Best pick up line from one man to another: “Who is that guy in the blue jersey pulling us, he’s a real animal” to which Liz says “He’s my husband.”
Best comeback: From Dan – “you guys are fast, I’m just fat.”
“I know you are but what am I”: Man pulls up to Liz and says “Cervelo….fancy bike”, Liz looks at him and says “Colnago…fancy bike with fancy Zipp wheels.”
Someone call CSI: Going up big hill, dead cat lays in middle of road with dead squirrel about 10 feet away
Most expensive get-up: Man riding Cheetah with disc wheel wearing aero helmet.
Most embarrassing greeting: Roger saying “hello there fellas” as Chris rode by with me in tow
Best analogy from random rider when they learn we are doing Kona: “That’s like the Superbowl, isn’t it?”
Number of bottles of sports drink consumed: 6
Number of bottles of water consumed: 2
Best pick up line from one man to multiple women: “You ladies going to church? Coming from church? You ladies religious at all?” says Dan while asking a Buick full of elderly ladies for directions to Oglesby.
Number of directions from which we were surrounded by corn at any given time: 3 of 4
Most fitting movie reference: Children of the Corn
Number of salt tabs taken by Liz during ride: Over a dozen
Point in ride in which Liz had her morning poop: Mile 84
Better than gold: Cheddar Cheese Goldfish crackers at 4:00, 5:15, and 6:20 into ride
Mile at which Liz’s left knee left her body: 113
So that’s what they mean by ‘referred pain’: Liz feels pain in her knee and Chris feels a pain in his ass for the next 10 days
You think this is bad?: It could be worse, you could be doing Ironman Kentucky right now.
Not to be topped by: It could be worse, you could be doing the Dairyland Dare course again.
Most tempting snack at rest stops Liz did not give in to: Peanut M&M’s
Best excuse for deviating from Ironman nutrition plan: Chris says “I just want a treat right now” before giving in to the pecan roll at mile 35.
We’ll let it slide once, but twice?: Chris again giving into the pecan roll at mile 84.
Something Chris will probably ask for at the bike turnaround in Kona: A pecan roll and a cold beer.
When accounting consultants make math mistakes: Liz throwing goldfish crackers at Chris at mile 107 when he admits his “bad math” leaves us with 35 miles left to go.
Another name for mud at mile 35 rest stop: Speedplay poison.
Number of lunchmeat sandwiches Dan consumed at last rest stop: 2
Likelihood that he yakked them up about 5 miles later: 99 percent
Longest ride of my life prior to Sunday: 126
Number of times I hope to ride 142 miles ever again: Zero
